Conflict prevention vs. conflict resolution
I studied conflict resolution at the Justice Institute of BC in Vancouver, Canada. I’ve mentioned elsewhere that studying with the institute’s Centre for Conflict Resolution was a hugely rewarding, life-changing experience – one that I recommend whole-heartedly. There was just one niggly little thing that bothered me as I emerged from the program: I knew we were studying conflict resolution, but I wished there had been more focus on conflict prevention.
As I worked through role-plays in a final exam it struck me like a thunder bolt that I needed to learn and practice ways to prevent conflict in the first place – before it needed conflict resolution. I needed to learn and practice conflict prevention.
Conflict Resolution vs. Conflict Prevention
Conflict resolution is hard work. If we wait until a conflict is in full bloom, it’s usually too late to resolve it easily. Typically, by the time it needs resolution, the conflict has disrupted and distracted the whole team. People have taken sides. The warring parties have had time to harden their positions. They’ve had time to gather evidence, build their cases, and rehearse the telling of how they’ve been hurt. (I’ve observed that in conflict both adversaries feel that they are the injured party).
By comparison conflict prevention is generally simpler and easier. For example, when we perceive a budding problem with a team member – typically expressed in moodiness, sarcastic and insulting language, tone of voice, eye and body language, or slippage in quality and timeliness of work – we approach and ask if there is anything to our perception. If there is, we step in and deal with it now – before it festers and hardens. The basic skills needed are active listening and solution-making (see Posts 24 and 25 at www.neilgodin.com for reference).
‘Catching Snowflakes’ – The fine art of conflict prevention
A participant in one of my leadership training workshops shared her experience after two weeks of experimentation. Since our previous session – where we talked about catching problems at the snowflake stage, before they snowball out of control, she decided to road test the idea. Whenever she encountered a potential problem – anything that could lead to destructivr conflict – between her and a team member or between team members – she acted immediately.
“Sometimes it can be awkward asking about something at the early, early stage,” she said, “But I just tell the truth – I say that I feel awkward right at the start. I say something like, ‘I feel awkward asking you this but I got the feeling in this morning’s meeting that you’re not happy with (whatever or whoever it was.) If I’m wrong, we just carry on. If I’m right I get to step in and deal with it here and now. It’s better than making a negative assumption or doing nothing. Instead of assuming anything, now I just ask, and it works.”
Yes, it’s common sense but (again) never confuse common sense with common practice
If you’re like many (or most?) of the leaders I worked with you may find yourself thinking, “This is just common sense,” but, as I’ve said before – and will say again (and again) I’m sure, “We must never confuse common sense with common practice.” Common practice, sad to say, sounds very different and is captured in the following few words, heard day after day, in homes across the land:
“You wouldn’t believe what so-and-so did today!”
You and I are exceptions, of course, but most families rarely hear how the leader pre-empted a conflict by sensing potential trouble and approaching at an awkward early-early stage. Or how they neutralized push-back by really listening to a team member’s concerns and ideas about a new procedure they’re introducing – then taking action on their ideas by refining the procedure accordingly. Instead, many families hear a tale of woe about how bad the economy is getting, or how difficult it is to get buy-in from the latest generation of workers, and other ‘nonsense deflections,’ as I call them.
The benefits of conflict prevention
- Yes, you can try this at home
- No special training is required
- Conflict Prevention is free of charge (conflict resolution and mediation can be costly)
- Prevention is not disruptive
- People maintain focus on their work, not the dispute
- Many of my clients saw reductions in staff turnover, absenteeism, sick leave, grievances etc.
- Bottom line: leaders are better able to fulfill their primary function – to deliver the results expected of them
Your call to action
As usual, I encourage an ‘action learning’ approach, which simply means learning by doing; reflecting on what we’re learning – and refining our approach as we go along. Here are action steps to consider…
- Start by going back over the last month. When, where and why did destructive conflict erupt?
- Ask yourself if any of those rough spots could have been predicted and pre-empted.
- Become even more of a trouble-spotter and solution-maker. Systematically watch and listen for signs and symptoms of potential trouble. They typically include the symptoms listed about.
- Plan to hold what I call ‘pre mortem’ meetings, when appropriate, to get others involved in identifying and planning ways to make sure previous mistakes are not repeated, and anticipate and pre-empt new issues the group can foresee when planning a new policy, procedure or other initiative. (Oh, and don’t forget post-mortems as well).
- When you suspect someone is upset with you, catch snowflakes of your own. At the first sign simply ask if your hunch is correct or not and respond accordingly.
- Want to be sure your approach will be well received? Use our cause and effect thinking: Ask yourself, “What effect do I want to cause?” in choosing your words, and the time and place of your approach, etc.
Pay close attention to how you correct team members when mistakes are made. In my experience the way we perform in this one role can have the single greatest impact on team member engagement or disengagement. (Please see Posts 4 and 5 for tips on how to correct without demoralizing). You may discover as I did many years ago that the old saying, ‘An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,’ is only partly true. It’s actually worth a ton.
See you next week
Neil
