Introductory notes. This week we explore issues that surround making and breaking commitments. Our goal is to grow from being people who (at least occasionally) make casual commitments to being people of greater integrity “who can always be trusted” to do what we say we are going to do. Casual commitments are made without thinking and are often not fulfilled. If we start to think of ourselves as “giving our word” when making even a minor commitment, then we can begin to manage commitments much more effectively – and reap the benefits of being more effective leaders.
Those who manage commitments pay a price for those who don’t
While some people are very careful in the way they make and follow through on commitments, we all know many who are not. Those are the good folks who commit to do something during one meeting, then make excuses for not doing it at the next – all with the very best of intentions, of course.
Those who manage their commitments well often pay a price for working with colleagues who do not. That price may include feelings of frustration and resentment toward those who chronically commit, then fail to fulfill – particularly if this results in the burden of additional work for those who do follow through. Obviously, this has a negative effect on morale and on teamwork, and can lead to a downward spiral in which our faith in programs and people – including ourselves as leaders – can be eroded. In my turn-around work with companies in crisis, commitment management is the first imperative we deal with, because people must be able to trust each other if we are to succeed.
Here is my favorite example of ‘casual’ commitment making:
You see a friend across the way. You both wave enthusiastically. They shout: “I’ll call you on the weekend” but are never to be heard from again. Have you been there? (Solution: “Hey, I’ll try you at 10 o’clock on Saturday morning, okay?”)
Managing commitments involves managing the way we make commitments to others; managing the way we request, receive and accept commitments from others — and, when appropriate and necessary, managing (monitoring, alerting, facilitating and coaching) the fulfillment of commitments made and received by those we lead who have not yet developed the professional habit of managing their own commitments well.
Taking great care in making commitments ensures that we act with real integrity. This contributes to our own feelings of self-trust, and our authenticity as leaders in the eyes and minds of others.
FAQ’s about commitment management
- What exactly is commitment? Webster’s dictionary defines the word “commit” as follows: “To pledge…to commit oneself to an undertaking…a promise, a pledge.” In my work I think of the term ‘commitment’ as a kind of legal contract – a formal agreement in which a specific person commits (promises or pledges) to do a specific thing, by a specific time (a deadline) and promises to alert the other party or parties affected if for some reason the promise can not be kept — and to do so before the deadline if possible.
- Can you commit someone else to something? No (unless you are one of the few dictators or micro-managers who can literally force compliance.) Generally speaking we can’t ‘promise’ or ‘pledge’ that someone else is going to do anything. A promise or pledge can only be made by the person who is to fulfill the commitment.
- If someone who reports to me fails to do what I ask, instruct or order them to do, are they breaking a commitment? No. Unless you requested a commitment, and a commitment was authentically given, a subordinate has not broken a commitment, because no formal commitment was made (although the team member could perhaps be accused of insubordination).
- If I ask, instruct or order a subordinate to do something and he or she agrees to do it, is he or she now making a ‘commitment?’ No. They may simply be telling you what you want to hear. Unless you ask for a formal commitment—including a deadline—and unless a genuine commitment is made to you—including a deadline—no commitment has been made.
- If a peer or someone I report to fails to do what I ask of them are they breaking a commitment? No. Not unless you asked for and received a formal commitment—including a deadline.
- What happens if I treat a non-commitment as if it were real? A series of very damaging events. Because you assumed that the other person committed you will expect fulfillment. When the other person ‘fails’ you will be disappointed and will feel justified in being critical. This will harm a new relationship or reinforce friction in an on-going relationship. Your attitude to the other person will be judgmental, blameful and ‘superior.’ And, predictably, the other person’s reaction will be defensive and resentful. Saddest of all, the cause of the damaged relationship is unknown to either party. If there is a villain it’s us as leaders. We set both ourselves and the other person(s) up to fail by assuming a commitment was made when in truth no commitment was asked for, and no commitment was given!
- If someone commits to do something that I request or need, is that person solely responsible for fulfillment of the commitment? No. You are responsible for setting people up to succeed in following through – and for setting yourself up to succeed in getting your needs met as a result. You do this by qualifying the commitment – asking questions to make certain that the commitment is genuine (that the person really has the interest, the time, the resources, the skill, the decision-making or spending authority, etc.) to fulfill the commitment. And your responsibility does not end there. If the other person has a history of making ‘casual’ commitments that are not fulfilled, then in order to serve your own enlightened self-interest as leader, and in order to promote and foster the development of positive habits in the other person, your responsibility is to follow through and alert the other person of approaching deadlines and/or to offer other facilitation or assistance as required, until new habits are established.
- What happens when a commitment is broken? When a commitment is broken, two people have failed. One, the person who accepted the casual commitment and failed to help ensure fulfillment. Two, the person who failed to fulfill. There are always other victims as well. The entire team is affected, because genuine teamwork – which is built on trust and mutual respect – can’t be fully achieved. Quality of work and service to customers is often negatively affected as well. In fact, the health and welfare of the entire organization is potentially affected when commitments are broken.
Your call to action: My 10 keys to success in commitment management.
- Stop yourself from making ‘casual’ commitments. Use our mantra, “Stop and breathe. Think and choose” to catch yourself in the act before making a commitment. Don’t make a commitment unless you are certain that you can and will follow through.
- Accept only genuine commitments. Stop accepting (or asking for) casual commitments from others. And never commit someone else – instead, ask if they can and will commit.
- Attach a deadline to every commitment. Think of a commitment as a kind of contract in which “a specific person” commits to do ‘a specific thing’ by ‘a specific time.’
- Qualify commitments that team members make. When someone makes a commitment, help them set themselves up to succeed by asking (qualifying) if they have the resources they need; when they plan to block time to execute, and so on.
- Record every commitment. Record your commitments, and those of others who are committing to you—immediately—in your time planning system, and ask others to do the same.
- Follow-through exhaustively. Monitor and support/facilitate fulfillment of key commitments.
- Communicate in advance when a commitment can’t be kept. If fulfillment becomes impossible, tell those affected before the deadline. Ask others to do the same.
- Treat broken commitments as learning opportunities. Because most of us have trouble with commitments, it is inappropriate – as well as counter-productive – to criticize when a commitment is broken. Instead, treat the situation as an opportunity to explore what went wrong and to learn ways to avoid commitment failure in future.
- Don’t let broken commitments go. When a commitment is broken, re-schedule it. This is a critical aspect of commitment management. Failure is less important than recovery in establishing and maintaining this habit.
- Act as a personal role model. This is the most important step of all. In building the habit and the culture of professionalism that goes with commitment management, actions speak far louder than words.
The bottom line:
“If I tell you that I’m going to do something, and I fail to follow through, then I have lied to you (unintentionally, of course) and have demonstrated that you can’t trust me.” — NG
See you next week.
