Leaders at work are fire fighters, dealing daily with the consequences of mistakes made by people. Dealing with mistakes effectively (or not) has a huge impact on work quality, safety and timeliness – and on levels of team member engagement and enthusiasm. Over the years my clients and I developed and fine-tuned a number of strategies for ‘correcting without demotivating.’ Here is our summary of key principles and practices.
- Reality check: In leadership ‘real’ power is power ‘with’ others, not ‘over’ others. Keep people working enthusiastically ‘with you’ by treating errors as opportunities to improve, not blame and criticize.
- Practice ‘No-fault Problem Solving.’ Assume that a team member who has made an error had good intention. Focus on learning how the mistake could have occurred and how recurrence can be prevented.
- Manage your reactions when mistakes are made. When you feel your self reacting in anger and blame (scowling, face flushing, shallow breathing, eye-rolling), step in mentally and stop the action. Use our silent mantra, “Stop and Breathe, Think and Choose,” before approaching. (Reaction Management is a gateway practice that enables us to use other vital skills, such as active listening, as well.)
- Use cause and effect thinking. When there’s a potential problem ask yourself, ‘What effect do I want to cause?’ by the way you approach. (Ask the same question before you hit send on a sensitive email).
- Attack the problem, not the person. This is our mantra in correcting mistakes. Our goal: To use solution-making to strengthen, not weaken, relationships. (Try being curious instead of furious).
- Speak ‘to’ the other person, not ‘about’ them. When there is a potential problem with someone resist the tendency to speak to third parties. Instead, deal direct and at the earliest possible stage.
- Hate defensiveness? Don’t attack! Blaming and criticizing – no matter how well intentioned – are very often received as forms of attack from on high – and when attacked it’s human nature to defend, counter-attack or submit – usually in sullen silence. Be careful not to provoke a negative response.
- Avoid ‘the victim game.’ When we blame another person for a problem we make them the ‘Villain’ in The Victim Game – and we make ourselves their poor, suffering ‘Victim,’ whose only hope is that a ‘Hero’ will sympathize or go to bat for us. Meanwhile the problem itself tends to go on and on unsolved.
- Take responsibility. ’Taking responsibility for our part sets us free of The Victim Game. Were you guilty of ‘drive-by delegation’ for example? If so, apologize. Then ask for their help in solving the problem. It’s hard to be defensive when the boss (or mom or dad at home) has taken at least a share of responsibility. If you can find even a grain of responsibility it can help neutralize feelings of anger and blame that you may be experiencing. (Consider the old saying, ’If the student hasn’t learned, the teacher hasn’t taught.’)
10. Catch snowflakes. Catch a problem at the earliest stage before it snowballs out of control.
Neil Godin
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