This week we explore the role of purpose in our lives as leaders. For many years I opened this topic by asking participants in my leadership training seminars and workshops a not-so-innocent question…
“Have you ever said or done something you regretted later?”
Of course. In response all hands went up – including mine – and people laughed and cringed as they (privately) re-lived an awful moment. Then I asked a follow-up question:
“Did anyone say or do whatever it was intentionally – on purpose?”
Very few hands went up – ever. This was not surprising given that we all came to regret whatever we had said. Obviously, we don’t do things we regret ‘on purpose,’ we do them without thinking and ‘by accident’ – realizing too late that they are at cross-purposes. So. What’s going on? And what could we do about it?
We needed a mechanism that would help us crystallize our good intentions
A solution: It occurred to me that as leaders we needed to cultivate a clear sense of purpose to help us connect our moment-to-moment behavior with our overall purpose and goals.
Without a strong sense of purpose our behavior can be erratic and self-sabotaging
Here’s an example of what can happen when we operate ‘without’ a clear and strong sense of purpose:
Client: A fabulous bakery, air filled with sweet smells that I remember to this day.
Occasion: A leadership workshop with all leaders, from owner to lead hands.
Workshop topic: Building a leadership team code of conduct (See Post #20) that committed them to behave in ways that enhance staff engagement. This session came on the heels of a five-day leadership training workshop.
Situation: The working draft of their team code included a commitment to avoid behavior that brings people down – and encourage behavior that lifts people up. They committed to building a ‘culture of safety’ by avoiding destructive behaviors like insults, cheap shots, sarcasm, bad-mouthing, gossip and destructive criticism – and building a culture of respect by consulting instead of dictating; systematically recognizing special effort and achievement; correcting without demoralizing – and more!
Call for caution: I cautioned them that they may be over-committing – that it would take a mighty effort to actualize the lofty aspirations spelled out in their team code and I urged them to keep it in draft form while they tested their newly-learned insights and skills.
An immediate challenge to their team code: The following day, when a team member arrived late, their supervisor called them out, announcing loudly and sarcastically, “Well, look who the cat dragged in.” At that a lead hand immediately turned to the supervisor and said, “Well, I guess that takes care of our Team Code!” prompting the supervisor to cringe in regret.
(Meanwhile, the late comer retaliated by saying, loudly, “Well, at least I’m not hungover” – referring to an accusation made against the supervisor on the Monday after a recent wedding celebration. This drew derisive laughter from the whole team. Ouch.)
Another ‘aha’ moment in my life
This situation, played out many years ago, produced yet another ‘aha’ moment for me. It struck me like a bolt of lightning that most people (that’s us), have tremendous difficulty warding off the impulse to behave ineffectively at times – and that we (urgently?) need a way to connect our moment-to-moment behavior to our overall purpose. In short, we needed to reflect on our overall purpose and we needed to compose a Statement of Purpose to serve as a reminder. Now, many years later – many thousands of our seminar-goers and workshop participants have statements of purpose to help guide themselves through the maze.
Your call to action
Now it’s your turn. I invite you to reflect on your sense of purpose in the role you play as a leader – or any other role that’s very important to you – and begin to draft a statement of your purpose. Key questions that can help: “What do I intend to contribute in my role?” and “What do I intend to gain or achieve?” Here are three examples.
This is an example from one of my leadership seminar participants:
“My purpose is to get the results I need as a leader by maintaining an environment where people feel highly respected, are fully engaged – and are motivated to do great work.”
Here’s an example from a workshop participant’s home life:
“My purpose as a parent is to maintain the strong bonds of communication and trust I have developed with my daughter as we go through her teen years together.”
Here is a personal example from my (former) role as a road-rager (see Post #4 for more on road rage):
“My purpose as a driver is to do everything in my power to ensure that my passengers and I get to our destination safely – and to do what I can to ensure others travel safely as well.”
Note: I’m delighted to report that while I still suffer frustration in traffic, the raging and dangerous driving ended the moment I crafted this statement – never to return.
A statement of purpose for every key role and event?
I began to compose a statement of purpose – mentally, or in writing – for every key role I play and every important event I prepare for. For example: “My purpose in writing this blog is to share insights, stories, tips, tactics and tutorials drawn from my (almost) 45 years as a business and leadership coach and business ‘turnaround’ specialist. My intent is to share many of the innovative things we came up with on the people side of keeping our clients from going under – tactics in many cases that any business, organization or individual can use to achieve success against the odds.” This was the most challenging, satisfying and rewarding work I did, and I didn’t want this material to retire with me.
Back to the bakery…
Clearly, our bakery supervisor didn’t insult his team member (and make a fool of himself) on purpose, he did so unintentionally. By accident. But he came to his own rescue by quickly apologizing personally, and then by apologizing publicly at the next team meeting. In doing so he exemplified one of our key guiding principles, made famous by the late, great American singer, Kate Smith: “It’s never too late to say you’re sorry.”
See you next week.
Neil
