A Google search result describes Toxic Boss Syndrome (TBS) beautifully: “A pattern of managerial behavior that consistently creates a hostile, stressful, or demoralizing work environment. These managers often lead through fear, manipulation, or self-interest rather than empathy and guidance, negatively impacting the mental well-being and performance of their team.”
You’re not a toxic boss, so why should this matter to you?
We’re all affected by TBS behaviors – either as victims, onlookers or colleagues – or perpetrators. And the negative fallout is clear: Year after year, Gallup polls find that fully 1 in 2 – fifty percent – of all those who quit their jobs do so because of a poor relationship with the boss. (Ouch! Imagine the cost to the economy, overall – and the potentially catastrophic costs to an individual business or organization that’s experiencing high staff turnover.)
Does that 50% statistic mean that fully half of all bosses suffer TBS (even if it’s just TBS-Lite?) I wouldn’t be surprised. Based on my experience over 45-years as a leadership trainer, I think the problem is at least that severe. (If surveyed I would have guessed the number is more like 75%). That’s why I describe self-reflection and self-management as the most important practices in leadership – and it’s why I keep revisiting the subjects of why and how to correct without demotivating, and consulting and collaborating instead of dictating.
Yes. Things are improving. Dr. Thomas Gordon brought in-depth skill-building to the leader training world with ‘Leader Effectiveness Training’ back in the 1970’s, and Harvard PhD. Daniel Goleman sparked a revolution in business education with his books on emotional intelligence (Emotional Intelligence, and Working With Emotional Intelligence, Bantam Books). But there’s a challenge: How many managers – business owners, managers, executive directors, supervisors, forepersons and lead hands – not to mention parents, teachers and coaches – have been to business school? Not many. Yet they’re all called upon to (somehow) practice the fine art of leading people effectively. As I cautioned my clients, “Making Us the leader doesn’t make us a leader.” Owning ineffective behavior, and working consciously to be more effective, are essential for success.
Toxic behavior can be disguised by a smile.
When we think of a toxic boss, we may think of a clownish, red-faced, angry caricature – always raging – leaving tune-out and burn-out in their wake. But in truth most of us – including the most mild-mannered among us – can be guilty of TBS behaviors – but without all the drama.
Think of the quiet, mild-mannered manager who subtly steals the ideas of team members and claims them as their own; the supervisor who delivers ‘nurturing’ criticism to a team member who has made an error, when the manager caused the problem in the first place by practicing what we call ‘drive-by delegation;’ the supervisor who says, “Great idea, I’ll look into it,” but never does, and never feeds back; the production manager who plays favorites. If we were to list all the ways ‘pleasant’ managers so often mistreat their charges the list would be long.
Bottom line: Being an effective leader isn’t about being a nice person, it’s about keeping people working enthusiastically with us, so we can fully access their knowledge, skills and ideas – and earn their retention. While everyone benefits, effective behavior is literally self-serving.
Behavior Red Flags
To help you identify conduct that could be impacting your effectiveness, here are 10 examples of common toxic boss behavior. I encourage you to study each item carefully, treating the exercise as an ‘opportunity hunt,’ a search for opportunities to engage in introspection; self-honesty; self-correction and personal growth. You almost certainly aren’t guilty of the most outrageous practices listed here, but search for parts and pieces that you can own and work with.
- Tends to react with anger, fault finding and blame vs. solution-making when mistakes are made. Attacks the person more than the problem. May harangue (“If I’ve told you once…”)
- Corrects with criticism. Instead of engaging team members in collaborative problem solving when mistakes are made, they tend to criticize, belittle, sometimes humiliate (publicly in extreme cases).
- Avoids taking responsibility when mistakes are made, and things go wrong.
- May use threats, fear. They may use threats (like job loss, reduced hours or privileges) or other forms of intimidation to coerce obedience.
- Takes credit for others’ ideas and accomplishments. (e.g. “I’m ahead of you with that idea, Pat. I’ve already put in a budget request…” when no such action has been taken).
- Micromanages: Inappropriately attempts to control details – wasting team members’ time (as well as their own), destroying morale, and stunting both innovation and professional growth.
- Unreasonable Expectations: May set multiple conflicting priorities, unrealistic deadlines, and cross personal boundaries (e.g., expects late-evening or weekend responses to texts/calls).
- Plays favorites: They may extend privileges to favored team members that are not extended to others; may isolate or exclude individuals or groups.
- Harassment: may engage in constant cheap-shotting, name-calling and insulting; spreading rumors; swearing; physical or sexual harassment; using derogatory nicknames, slurs.
- May not encourage personal growth or team building.
If you see yourself in any of these behaviors, even in a small way, you have uncovered an opportunity to improve your effectiveness as a leader. To act on the opportunity, simply reverse Nike’s tag line – and just STOP doing it!
See you next week.
Neil
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